Loneliness

Before I post anything new I'm going to post some of the poems I've written a few years ago, I thought I'd start with an English poem...

This poem is one of my favorites. I've written it for a class last year; we were asked to write a poem about loneliness, that was the only restriction we had to writing this poem. The first thought that came to my mind was to write about a child, or any person, who's sitting alone or in a dark place. But while brainstorming, I realized that that's a very literal representation of loneliness; I changed my idea.

In the end I wrote about a real person, a friend who I think as being very lonely; that might not be true, but it’s how I think she feels. I got a 100% for that poem, I tried to include as much emotion as I could; I would never have managed to write such an effective poem as this turned out to be if I'd written about that lonely child.

She’s the center of attention;
Wherever she goes they go.
She knows the latest gossip
And all the hottest trends,
What’s “in” and what’s not.

But somewhere in her face
You see the traces of a smile,
A smile once full of energy,
Forced hard to open wide
And hide that broken heart.
Somewhere beneath those lashes
Are eyes that sparkle with tears.
Through the sound of her voice
You hear a blank and empty tone.
The times she laughs are numerous
Yet, they are almost always fake.

The look on her face spells despair.

But when darkness covers the sky
And everyone’s sound asleep,
She takes of the peoples’ mask,
And finally reveals her true self.
She rests her head on the feather pillow
And sheds a million tears.

I want opinions, thoughts, criticism and whatever else you've got to say please (A)